RACHEL Late-breaking news! Right up to the minute! … Jesus Christ, the long-awaited Messiah, has returned to Earth and is here among us, right by my side… Emisoras Latinas, through its exceptional journalistic contacts, has succeeded in bringing to you his very first words, which are now available on our Internet Web site…
JESUS And those people coming this way, who are they, Rachel?
RACHEL Reporters from other stations… and from television networks. They’ve finally found us.
JOURNALIST Hey, where were you, huh? … Are you the one they call Jesus Christ?
WOMAN REPORTER We’ve been waiting here since yesterday! All these people got up early to see you and hear? … Why did you hide from the press?
JESUS I haven’t been hiding from anybody. What happened was…
CORRESPONDENT What are you doing over here in this corner? They have a special stage set up over there for you to speak. Don’t you see it?
JESUS But since we’re here already, why don’t we just talk here?
JOURNALIST No way. There are people waiting for you on the platform the patriarch of Constantinople, ministers from all the Protestant denominations, a bunch of cardinals and bishops… Any time now the Pope will be arriving from Rome …
JESUS And who are all those people you mention?
CORRESPONDENT What do you mean, who are they? They’re your representatives, the ones who are running your churches…
WOMAN REPORTER Tell me, Jesus Christ, how did you get here, in a space ship, or perhaps a UFO?
JOURNALIST Where are you coming from now?
JESUS From God. We always come from God.
CORRESPONDENT Where were you all this time? Hibernating like Walt Disney? In heaven? Hidden away in the cellars of the Vatican?
JESUS I was …. with God. We are always with God.
WOMAN REPORTER Someone said you were cloned from a drop of blood from the Shroud of Turin. Do you consider yourself a divine clone?
JESUS I don’t know what you’re talking about… I consider myself … a child of God.
JOURNALIST Please try to make your answers a little more concrete… Tell us, what have you come to do on earth?
JESUS Listen, my friends. Once there was a farmer who went out to sow. Some seeds fell on rocks, others fell on thorns…
WOMAN REPORTER Oh no! No cute parable, please! We have only fifteen seconds to close off our news report! Short answers, precise and concise, please. Something that will have an impact on our audience.
CORRESPONDENT Do you back the creation of an independent Palestinian state?
WOMAN REPORTER What is your position on abortion?
JOURNALIST What about U.S. imperialism and the problem of drug trafficking?
CORRESPONDENT Where is the Latin American left headed?
JESUS What is this, Rachel? An interrogation like Pontius Pilate’s?
RACHEL That’s how things are now, Jesus, some reporters are like vultures…
JESUS But we aren’t carrion … Come on, let’s go to Galilee!
RACHEL Yes, that’d be better…
JOURNALIST Hey, who’s that young woman who’s with Jesus Christ, huh?
CORRESPONDENT Maybe it’s the new Mary Magdalene …
WOMAN REPORTER And what credentials does she have to be at the side of Jesus Christ?
JOURNALIST Jesus Christ? That’s not Jesus Christ! That bearded guy looks like a terrorist of the Intifada!
JESUS Rachel, let’s get out of here – we can walk to Galilee in three days.
RACHEL Three days! We can do it in three hours! … Now we don’t have to go on foot, like in your time…
JESUS Really? Then how will we travel, on camel?
RACHEL On a kind of camel with wheels… I’ll explain it to you afterwards. But why don’t we go somewhere closer first? If we take a taxi, we can be in Bethlehem in a few minutes. What do you think?
JESUS Bethlehem.... where King David was born!
RACHEL And where you were born too, right? … Come on, follow me… [in reporter’s voice] Reporting to you on the road to Bethlehem, in the company of Jesus Christ, this is Rachel Perez of Emisoras Latinas.
MUSIC.
ANNOUNCER Another God is Possible. Exclusive interviews with Jesus Christ in his second coming to Earth. A production of María and José Ignacio López Vigil, with the support of the Syd Forum and Christian Aid.
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