RACHEL Here we are again, friends. I am your Emisoras Latinas correspondent Rachel Perez, and I’m broadcasting from a spot just south of the esplanade of the mosques, here in Jerusalem! Today we have with us none other than Jesus Christ, yes, Jesus Christ himself. He has been kind enough to conduct his first exclusive interview with us. Welcome to our world and to our network, Mr. Christ.
JESUS Thank you, Rachel.
RACHEL Master, I’m sorry I’m a bit overcome with emotion… I know that I’m the first reporter to interview you, and as you will understand…
JESUS Just take it easy, and ask whatever you wish… I myself am a little nervous… In my time we didn’t have all these gadgets.
RACHEL Good, then… let’s begin. Come closer to the microphone, please, master… The first question is obvious Is this really your second coming, the one so awaited by millions of believers around the world?
JESUS Yes, of course.
RACHEL But you had announced that there would be earthquakes and cataclysms when you returned. What happened?
JESUS No, what I said was that I would come in silence, without noise. Like a gentle breeze.
RACHEL What about the angels and the trumpets and you riding gloriously down on the clouds of heaven?
JESUS Where did you get that idea?
RACHEL From your biography, from the gospels! … Unless perhaps the evangelists were already practicing journalistic sensationalism back then. What do you think?
JESUS I really don’t know what you’re talking about…
RACHEL In any case, the prophecies are being fulfilled. Look at what’s happening in the world hurricanes, earthquakes, droughts, wars….
JESUS So many calamities?
RACHEL Every day. Maybe you’ll get to witness one of them. Not long ago, in Asia a tsunami wiped out tons of people in Asia. And in California they’re waiting for the “Big One”… What can you tell me? Are these disasters warnings, or signs, that God is sending us?
JESUS I don’t think so, because a father doesn’t warn his children by sending them scorpions.
RACHEL Maybe I don’t quite get what you’re saying; do you mean these disasters somehow aren’t related to this unexpected return of yours?
JESUS No, Rachel, I have not come to bring about any sort of disaster.
RACHEL Then, what have you come for, master?
JESUS Why do you keep calling me “master”? There is only one Master, the one in heaven.
RACHEL Well,… what should I call you? Jesus Christ?
JESUS Just call me Jesus. That’s my name.
RACHEL Okay, then, … Jesus … Mr. Jesus, back to the reasons for your visit. Have you come to carry out the Final Judgment?
JESUS No, that’s God’s business. Only He knows the day and the hour.
RACHEL And so….?
JESUS After being away so long, I just want to know how things are going in this world, especially among those who claim to be my followers – a little like that master who distributed money among his workers and went off on a long journey … and then came back to see what they had done with it.
RACHEL Will you be with us for a while?
JESUS I’m not sure. I’m curious to know what people have done in my absence and in my name. But right now I need to be going.
RACHEL What do you mean, going? I have a hundred questions to ask you, and I’ve hardly asked you one…
JESUS Well, keep the other 99 for another moment. It’s getting late, and we country folk go to bed early. Shalom, sister! Peace be with you!
RACHEL We’ll see you tomorrow. … Radio listeners, this has been our first exclusive interview with Jesus Christ in his native land during this, his second coming… Incredible, incredible but true! For Emisoras Latinas, this is Rachel Perez in Jerusalem.
ANNOUNCER Another God is Possible. Exclusive interviews with Jesus Christ in his second coming to Earth. A production of María and José Ignacio López Vigil, with the support of the Syd Forum and Christian Aid.